35 Signs You’re a New Age Hippie

35 Signs You’re a New Age Hippie


With a language of its own, the lingo of a new age hippie is undeniably distinctive. The last 10 years have bought endless stream of modern day trends. From probiotic and raw vegan diets, yoga’s exponential rise in popularity, superfood trends, and a growing mass acceptance in crystals, chakras, and alternative forms of medicine. While we’re not pretending to be above any of these — it’s always healthy to have the occasional laugh at yourself because after all, what’s the use in taking it all so seriously?


Here’s 35 signs you fit the category of a new age hippie:

  1. You bump into the same person twice in one week and declare definitively that it’s ‘synchronicity.’
  2. You don’t mind the taste of spirulina and whole garlic cloves
  3. Instead of praying to God or Santa, you ask the universe to make your dreams come true.
  4. You’ve attempted to home-brew Kombucha only to have your Scoby die because the reality of looking after something that ugly was not as shiny as a store bought bottle.
  5. Probiotics and gut health are part of your everyday vernacular. You also try to eat sauerkraut, kimchi, and kephir on the regular.
  6. You’ll feel like you’ve made it when you can afford to stock your entire house with Aesop products.
  7. You’re spiritual, not religious.
  8. The concept of cashew cheese doesn’t sound wack to you. In fact, you’ve either made it yourself or tried it at least once.
  9. Your love for Doctor Bronner’s is much like the Dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and his love for Windex. You use it to wash your clothes, your body and your dishes.
  10. Meditation is a morning ritual and if it’s not, you’re probably talking about how it should be.
  11. You’ve read, or at least heard of Eckhart Tolle and his book The Power of Now. You’ve also read (or are intending to read) Paulo Cohelo’s The Alchemist and Jack Kerouac’s On the Road.
  12. There’s at least one crystal in your home or on your person.
  13. Sage smudge sticks are your preferred method of dealing with life’s up’s and down’s.
  14. Yoga is the closest thing to a religion that you’ve got and if it’s not that, it’s probably Buddhism.
  15. You know what nutritional yeast, bee pollen, lucuma and maca is and have probably used these in your cooking or morning smoothie at least once.
  16. You’ve fantasised at least once about one day growing a badass veggie patch and living entirely off the land.
  17. If you’re a lady, you’ve recently started to plan your weeks around your menstrual cycle.
  18. You dig Bonobo, Thievery Corporation, and or Fat Freddy’s Drop.
  19. You follow the love life of @sallymustang @mitch.gobel on Instagram and joined hundreds of thousands of other devastated fans during their momentary breakup, and cheered with joy when they got back together!
  20. Ladies, you own a rose quartz yoni egg instead of a vibrator
  21. You follow the moons cycles instead of TV series.
  22. You blame your bad moods on the moon, or when Mercury is in retrograde.
  23. Gluten is not your friend.
  24. You’ve heard the name’s Pema Chodron and Ram Das thrown around the ether at least once.
  25. You’re vegetarian at the very least. If you’re vegan, you prefer to call it ‘plant-based.’
  26. You long ago ditched soy sauce for tamari
  27. You wear essential oils instead of perfume.
  28. India, Central America, or Sri Lanka are on your bucket list and you’ve been to Bali at least once on a yoga retreat.
  29. You have a tattoo of a mandala somewhere on your body.
  30. You’re open to the idea of tarot cards and psychics.
  31. You have a bamboo toothbrush and are well acquainted with the brands Grant’s or Red Seal.
  32. You’re fully aware when your chakras aren’t aligned and when that happens, it’s as real as any other personal crisis.
  33. You know the struggles of finding a natural deodorant that actually works.
  34. You’ve used the words ‘cultivate’ and ‘femininity’ in a sentence before.
  35. Joni Mitchell is your spirit animal and she just ‘gets’ you.

Image: @sallymustang


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